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dbsk_flashfic2009-02-12 11:21 am
purplehaze-33.livejournal.com) wrote in dbsk_flashfic2009-02-12 11:21 am
Entry tags:
harmonizing with you (and falling in love) [Flashfic Challenge 9: Jamais Su]
Title: harmonizing with you (and falling in love)
Author: Thea
Ratng: PG-13
Pairing: JaeSu
Word Count: 1,239
Genre: Romance, Fluff
Summary: Junsu's never really known how to talk to Jaejoong without getting breathless and choked up. He's not really jealous. He doesnt really give a shit about what Jaejoong thinks of him. He doesnt. Maybe he does care, just a little, but mere words cant cut deep. Sticks and stones are the only things that could hurt him.
A/N: Comments/feedback would be greatly appreciated. Concrit is also good, just dont be mean. :( This is also in Junsu's POV.
Author: Thea
Ratng: PG-13
Pairing: JaeSu
Word Count: 1,239
Genre: Romance, Fluff
Summary: Junsu's never really known how to talk to Jaejoong without getting breathless and choked up. He's not really jealous. He doesnt really give a shit about what Jaejoong thinks of him. He doesnt. Maybe he does care, just a little, but mere words cant cut deep. Sticks and stones are the only things that could hurt him.
A/N: Comments/feedback would be greatly appreciated. Concrit is also good, just dont be mean. :( This is also in Junsu's POV.
junsu is not pretty. he knows this with a decided certainty, having spent hours in the bathroom, examining all the minor imperfections on his face. the many flaws in his complexion, he knows fully well.
not as pretty as him, not as pretty, no, no, no-
sometimes he's so choked up. his throat gets all dry and he has to fight to keep his composure when talking to jaejoong.
junsu is not passionate. he knows this with helplessness, having spent hours in the the workroom, singing the same song over and over again. his voice nearly cracks and limbs start to shake involuntarily with fatigue.
not as passionate as him, not as passionate, no, no, no-
"you dont sing with feeling, junsu," jaejoong says, looking at him with a bored look in his eyes. "you sing perfectly. i can't feel the emotion there. none at all. you sound fake."
it doesnt mean anything. it really doesnt. junsu doesnt care about what jaejoong thinks about him. no one's affected him badly and he's not going to give jaejoong that. never.
sticks and stones are the only things that hurt him. really. mere words dont cut deep. they dont.
-----------------------------------------------
yoochun is his best friend. yoochun sees the locked bathroom door, the husky voice constantly practicing with increasing desperation in the workroom and uneaten food shoved into the trashcan.
junsu says nothing, choosing to bury his face in his pillow and breathing deeply.
"i dont know why we're so awkward myself, yoochun," he murmurs quietly. "i wish i couldnt give a damn about what he thinks of me."
when in doubt, practice, practice, practice. that is their mantra, their way to keep going, their way of superseding perfection. only, for junsu, its not just a mantra.
it becomes his life.
-------------------------------------------------------------
changmin notices the sudden loss of weight. changmin notices how food is just rearranged on the plate to make it look like something has gone down the stomach.
junsu pushes him away and smiles wanly. "my ex," he offers. "been calling me the whole week. she wants to talk shit out,"
but junsu hasnt used his phone in a whole week. he's turned it off, hiding away from the outside world. misery and depression are shameful things, he is supposed to be happy, no, he is smiling.
-------------------------------------------------
yunho is frightened. he is frightened of the pale cheeks, the slight bouts of dizziness during dance rehearsal and the slight tremors in that delightful, husky voice.
"hyung," junsu whispers. "am i fake?"
yunho hugs his dongsaeng tighter, knowing what the problem is.
jaejoong.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"he's sick," yunho says angrily, watching his hyung with narrowed eyes. "what did you say to him, jaejoong?"
jaejoong examines his nails and bites his lip. "nothing," he says slowly. "i said nothing at all."
"do you know that he secretly hangs on to everything you say, jaejoong?" yunho mutters sadly. "whatever you said, you've broken his heart. he's making himself sick over you."
"i care about him!" jaejoong exclaims heatedly. "i-i have to push him away. i like him, yunho. i like him a lot. but-sometimes, i get jealous. he's so-together. unlike me."
yunho rubs his hyung's wrist gently, seeing how jaejoong's face has changed from indifferent to so very vulnerable.
it is a wonder how junsu does this to him. how he does this to junsu.
how they do this to each other.
-------------------------------------------
"so," jaejoong mutters, startling junsu from his position on the balcony. he nearly drops the glass of whiskey and jaejoong frowns.
"you cant drink, junsu-yah," he reproves, snatching the glass and downing the contents himself.
junsu finds his throat going dry again. he finds himself lost for words. however, it looks like jaejoong doesnt want to say anything either.
So they lean over the balconey rail, watching the sun set. junsu sneaks a peek over at the older man and wild laughter threatens to break its way out from his throat.
jaejoong looks beautiful.
his newly dyed black hair is flying in all directions, thanks to the wind who seems hell bent on messing it up. eyes are closed and lips are parted, breathing in deeply.
he looks away resolutely. then he feels a pair of hands envelop his own. jaejoong is looking away but rubbing his wrist gently with his thumb, the gesture so unmistakeably tender and soft-
i must not cry, junsu thinks, feeling breathless and terrible. i must be strong, i must not cry.
but jaejoong has never made things easy for him. he closes his eyes when he feels the warmth of the older man's body pressing along his spine. arms wind tightly around his waist.
a soft, penitent kiss drops on his neck.
"jaejoong, dont," junsu says raggedly. "please dont-i beg of you-please-"
"i'm sorry," the older man mumbles, positively refusing to let go. "i'm so sorry for saying that. really, im such an asshole."
"s'okay, i get it," junsu smiles bitterly. "you were being honest as usual. i'm so fake it must have so obvious, right?"
he is spun around and jaejoong bites his neck savagely, sucking hard and fervent on the tanned skin. "fuck no," he retorts, slipping his fingers under junsu's shirt. his face flushes and then jaejoong softly admits, "i'm jealous-junsu-yah. sometimes, i feel like i'm so-fucking transparent. i cant keep myself under wraps like you. and sing so beautifully. i cant."
"i cant look at you sometimes, jaejoong," junsu says tremulously. "it hurts because sometimes you're so amazing and radiant, you make me breathless. then i dont know what to say. i dont know how to talk to you. i become...an awkward fool around you. and try as i might, i cant sing like you. i cant."
"sing for me, now" jaejoong demands and the younger man shakes his head immediately, looking frightened. "c'mon, sing for me, please?"
junsu opens his mouth and begins shakily, trying his best not to falter around the man he admires so much. the sweet, husky voice washes over jaejoong's senses and he finds himself unable to resist touching junsu.
hands slips under junsu's shirt and start caressing his back, rubbing in slow, lazy motions. junsu nearly stops when the older man brings their bodies flush against each other. those wandering fingers desert his back for his thighs, stroking the soft skin.
his voice trembles. it starts soaring with emotion. jaejoong kisses his adam's apple and starts humming along softly. he kisses his way up and their foreheads are resting against each other's. jaejoong is cupping his cheeks with his palms, singing along-
harmonizing, junsu thinks dazedly. he's singing with me. for me. oh god, i think i love him.
their voices blend and take up for each other's weaknesses. lending each other strength and support. encouraging and tender.
love.
when they end, junsu's arms snake around his neck immediately. jaejoong says nothing for a while, nuzzling his nose with his own and nipping lightly on his chin.
"i love you," junsu says fervently. "everything you say, i hang on to. i've always wanted you. always. jae-"
"hush," jaejoong silences him, kissing him softly on the lips. "you dont have to say anything. i know. you just sang for me."
"that was an unfinished lyric," junsu whispers, stroking his hyung's hair, running his hands through the wayward strands.
"i know that too," jaejoong says and junsu smiles brightly, a tight grip on jaejoong's heart.
an unfinished lyric indeed.
not as pretty as him, not as pretty, no, no, no-
sometimes he's so choked up. his throat gets all dry and he has to fight to keep his composure when talking to jaejoong.
junsu is not passionate. he knows this with helplessness, having spent hours in the the workroom, singing the same song over and over again. his voice nearly cracks and limbs start to shake involuntarily with fatigue.
not as passionate as him, not as passionate, no, no, no-
"you dont sing with feeling, junsu," jaejoong says, looking at him with a bored look in his eyes. "you sing perfectly. i can't feel the emotion there. none at all. you sound fake."
it doesnt mean anything. it really doesnt. junsu doesnt care about what jaejoong thinks about him. no one's affected him badly and he's not going to give jaejoong that. never.
sticks and stones are the only things that hurt him. really. mere words dont cut deep. they dont.
-----------------------------------------------
yoochun is his best friend. yoochun sees the locked bathroom door, the husky voice constantly practicing with increasing desperation in the workroom and uneaten food shoved into the trashcan.
junsu says nothing, choosing to bury his face in his pillow and breathing deeply.
"i dont know why we're so awkward myself, yoochun," he murmurs quietly. "i wish i couldnt give a damn about what he thinks of me."
when in doubt, practice, practice, practice. that is their mantra, their way to keep going, their way of superseding perfection. only, for junsu, its not just a mantra.
it becomes his life.
-------------------------------------------------------------
changmin notices the sudden loss of weight. changmin notices how food is just rearranged on the plate to make it look like something has gone down the stomach.
junsu pushes him away and smiles wanly. "my ex," he offers. "been calling me the whole week. she wants to talk shit out,"
but junsu hasnt used his phone in a whole week. he's turned it off, hiding away from the outside world. misery and depression are shameful things, he is supposed to be happy, no, he is smiling.
-------------------------------------------------
yunho is frightened. he is frightened of the pale cheeks, the slight bouts of dizziness during dance rehearsal and the slight tremors in that delightful, husky voice.
"hyung," junsu whispers. "am i fake?"
yunho hugs his dongsaeng tighter, knowing what the problem is.
jaejoong.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"he's sick," yunho says angrily, watching his hyung with narrowed eyes. "what did you say to him, jaejoong?"
jaejoong examines his nails and bites his lip. "nothing," he says slowly. "i said nothing at all."
"do you know that he secretly hangs on to everything you say, jaejoong?" yunho mutters sadly. "whatever you said, you've broken his heart. he's making himself sick over you."
"i care about him!" jaejoong exclaims heatedly. "i-i have to push him away. i like him, yunho. i like him a lot. but-sometimes, i get jealous. he's so-together. unlike me."
yunho rubs his hyung's wrist gently, seeing how jaejoong's face has changed from indifferent to so very vulnerable.
it is a wonder how junsu does this to him. how he does this to junsu.
how they do this to each other.
-------------------------------------------
"so," jaejoong mutters, startling junsu from his position on the balcony. he nearly drops the glass of whiskey and jaejoong frowns.
"you cant drink, junsu-yah," he reproves, snatching the glass and downing the contents himself.
junsu finds his throat going dry again. he finds himself lost for words. however, it looks like jaejoong doesnt want to say anything either.
So they lean over the balconey rail, watching the sun set. junsu sneaks a peek over at the older man and wild laughter threatens to break its way out from his throat.
jaejoong looks beautiful.
his newly dyed black hair is flying in all directions, thanks to the wind who seems hell bent on messing it up. eyes are closed and lips are parted, breathing in deeply.
he looks away resolutely. then he feels a pair of hands envelop his own. jaejoong is looking away but rubbing his wrist gently with his thumb, the gesture so unmistakeably tender and soft-
i must not cry, junsu thinks, feeling breathless and terrible. i must be strong, i must not cry.
but jaejoong has never made things easy for him. he closes his eyes when he feels the warmth of the older man's body pressing along his spine. arms wind tightly around his waist.
a soft, penitent kiss drops on his neck.
"jaejoong, dont," junsu says raggedly. "please dont-i beg of you-please-"
"i'm sorry," the older man mumbles, positively refusing to let go. "i'm so sorry for saying that. really, im such an asshole."
"s'okay, i get it," junsu smiles bitterly. "you were being honest as usual. i'm so fake it must have so obvious, right?"
he is spun around and jaejoong bites his neck savagely, sucking hard and fervent on the tanned skin. "fuck no," he retorts, slipping his fingers under junsu's shirt. his face flushes and then jaejoong softly admits, "i'm jealous-junsu-yah. sometimes, i feel like i'm so-fucking transparent. i cant keep myself under wraps like you. and sing so beautifully. i cant."
"i cant look at you sometimes, jaejoong," junsu says tremulously. "it hurts because sometimes you're so amazing and radiant, you make me breathless. then i dont know what to say. i dont know how to talk to you. i become...an awkward fool around you. and try as i might, i cant sing like you. i cant."
"sing for me, now" jaejoong demands and the younger man shakes his head immediately, looking frightened. "c'mon, sing for me, please?"
junsu opens his mouth and begins shakily, trying his best not to falter around the man he admires so much. the sweet, husky voice washes over jaejoong's senses and he finds himself unable to resist touching junsu.
hands slips under junsu's shirt and start caressing his back, rubbing in slow, lazy motions. junsu nearly stops when the older man brings their bodies flush against each other. those wandering fingers desert his back for his thighs, stroking the soft skin.
his voice trembles. it starts soaring with emotion. jaejoong kisses his adam's apple and starts humming along softly. he kisses his way up and their foreheads are resting against each other's. jaejoong is cupping his cheeks with his palms, singing along-
harmonizing, junsu thinks dazedly. he's singing with me. for me. oh god, i think i love him.
their voices blend and take up for each other's weaknesses. lending each other strength and support. encouraging and tender.
love.
when they end, junsu's arms snake around his neck immediately. jaejoong says nothing for a while, nuzzling his nose with his own and nipping lightly on his chin.
"i love you," junsu says fervently. "everything you say, i hang on to. i've always wanted you. always. jae-"
"hush," jaejoong silences him, kissing him softly on the lips. "you dont have to say anything. i know. you just sang for me."
"that was an unfinished lyric," junsu whispers, stroking his hyung's hair, running his hands through the wayward strands.
"i know that too," jaejoong says and junsu smiles brightly, a tight grip on jaejoong's heart.
an unfinished lyric indeed.