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dbsk_flashficTitle: Our Lips Can Touch Here
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mormorando
Word Count: 455
Concrit: Y
A/N: linda, pretend i wrote this in time for your bday a month ago. :D? :D? :D? title stolen from hellogoodbye's "here (in your arms)". specific prompt is we'll never have paris.
They both know it's a disaster in the making, but it comes too naturally, running away in a place that's so different yet familiar to find a place to hide -- just for a little bit, just for a while.
The motel is a dingy place with a sign that has five burnt out letters and one that flickers on and off. The clerk doesn't look at them as they exchange a few bills for a key, and they shake their heads and sneak away when she mutters 'receipt' in heavily accented English.
The only evidence they want to leave are ones that don't exist in the first place.
When they arrive at the room, all that greets them is a low-lying twin bed with yellow sheets and a dip in the middle that nearly reaches the ground, plus a chair in the far corner with splintered arms.
Jaejoong drops the one bag he brought and reaches for Yoochun before it even hits the floor, before the door even swings shut, kissing him like he's been holding his breath his entire life and Yoochun's mouth is the only place left with air.
The sun's sliding halfway under the horizon and Yoochun's skin is drowned in a heavy orange glow that melts with Jaejoong's fingertips as they drift over collarbones and dig into the soft flesh there, just hard enough to leave red bruises. If it hurts, Yoochun says nothing.
They're naked except for socks and underwear when they fall onto the bed that shifts under them like it's nearing the end of its days. Suddenly it's like moving through molasses or trying to run in a dream where there's no ground, and Yoochun kisses each of Jaejoong's ankles as they're bared. Jaejoong stares at Yoochun's mouth and counts his breaths.
Pressed together with nothing between then, they do nothing but kiss and touch cheeks and shoulders until the sun turns to dusk and they can barely see each others' blue tinted skin. Then they kiss and touch and move like time works faster in the dark, and the only sound that exists is the air they pass between them endlessly.
If time passes faster in the dark, it slows at dawn until it stills for just a moment, right before the morning shadows appear. Here, Jaejoong kisses Yoochun one more time; then he breathes on his own.
The clerk isn't in the office when they leave, so they slip the key underneath the door and catch a cab to take them back to where they exist again. In the backseat, they pretend to sleep and that their fingers don't touch between the beaded seat mats.
Behind them, the lights on the Eiffel Tower go out.
Author:
mormorandoWord Count: 455
Concrit: Y
A/N: linda, pretend i wrote this in time for your bday a month ago. :D? :D? :D? title stolen from hellogoodbye's "here (in your arms)". specific prompt is we'll never have paris.
They both know it's a disaster in the making, but it comes too naturally, running away in a place that's so different yet familiar to find a place to hide -- just for a little bit, just for a while.
The motel is a dingy place with a sign that has five burnt out letters and one that flickers on and off. The clerk doesn't look at them as they exchange a few bills for a key, and they shake their heads and sneak away when she mutters 'receipt' in heavily accented English.
The only evidence they want to leave are ones that don't exist in the first place.
When they arrive at the room, all that greets them is a low-lying twin bed with yellow sheets and a dip in the middle that nearly reaches the ground, plus a chair in the far corner with splintered arms.
Jaejoong drops the one bag he brought and reaches for Yoochun before it even hits the floor, before the door even swings shut, kissing him like he's been holding his breath his entire life and Yoochun's mouth is the only place left with air.
The sun's sliding halfway under the horizon and Yoochun's skin is drowned in a heavy orange glow that melts with Jaejoong's fingertips as they drift over collarbones and dig into the soft flesh there, just hard enough to leave red bruises. If it hurts, Yoochun says nothing.
They're naked except for socks and underwear when they fall onto the bed that shifts under them like it's nearing the end of its days. Suddenly it's like moving through molasses or trying to run in a dream where there's no ground, and Yoochun kisses each of Jaejoong's ankles as they're bared. Jaejoong stares at Yoochun's mouth and counts his breaths.
Pressed together with nothing between then, they do nothing but kiss and touch cheeks and shoulders until the sun turns to dusk and they can barely see each others' blue tinted skin. Then they kiss and touch and move like time works faster in the dark, and the only sound that exists is the air they pass between them endlessly.
If time passes faster in the dark, it slows at dawn until it stills for just a moment, right before the morning shadows appear. Here, Jaejoong kisses Yoochun one more time; then he breathes on his own.
The clerk isn't in the office when they leave, so they slip the key underneath the door and catch a cab to take them back to where they exist again. In the backseat, they pretend to sleep and that their fingers don't touch between the beaded seat mats.
Behind them, the lights on the Eiffel Tower go out.
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 12:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:40 am (UTC)gosh this is amazing. can i just quote everything you've written? it's mindblowingly good and :DDDDD you have such a skilled control of language and the whole story just flows so well. my only disappointment is that flashfics don't last longer, because i'd love to read more.
hunting your older fics now~ thank you so much for sharing. ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 12:14 pm (UTC)Jaejoong drops the one bag he brought and reaches for Yoochun before it even hits the floor, before the door even swings shut, kissing him like he's been holding his breath his entire life and Yoochun's mouth is the only place left with air.
♥
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 03:29 pm (UTC)it's like that moment of ...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DESCRIBE IT AS, passion isn't quite the right word, it's almost just a moment of not being, for a day. and then they head back to real life -- and the fact that it's in Paris makes the concept so much sweeter.
delicious ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 10:30 pm (UTC)If time passes faster in the dark, it slows at dawn until it stills for just a moment, right before the morning shadows appear. Here, Jaejoong kisses Yoochun one more time; then he breathes on his own.
This is the line that probably killed me dead the most. It was just I don't know, usually time goes by faster when you're having fun or with the one you love but this time time is slowing down, almost as if Father Clock is giving them more time and is allowing them the time they never get before to be added now. It was just chilling. I loved it.
This was just great. I really loved it. I don't know why you wanted a critique if you changed anything or added or subtracted a word it would have been just meaningless, and everything works amazingly well together. I loved it. ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 07:09 pm (UTC)'kissing him like he's been holding his breath his entire life and Yoochun's mouth is the only place left with air' - gooooooooooooooood
i like the light stuff too, time and light and light and time....
thanks
no subject
Date: 2009-05-27 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-29 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-31 10:36 pm (UTC)i have no words. :( i just love it a lot a lot. ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-06-04 07:29 am (UTC)