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dbsk_flashficTitle: Home
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
twhitesakura
Word-count: 660
Concrit? Yes
Rating: PG
Summary: YunJae. Jaejoong's hometown is Gongju. Traveling the train tracks out of Seoul, Yunho finally acknowledges a painful truth.
Notes: Sequel and companion fic to Resistance.
Yunho has been walking on the damp gravel for three hours now, following the train tracks that run south, out of the city and into the countryside (closer to his hometown of Gwangju and to Jaejoong’s too). He did not expect to travel this far, had left Changmin still sleeping in their dorm in downtown Seoul during the pre-dawn.
“I’m going jogging,” Yunho had said hours ago.
A mumbled reply, like water heard underground, and a tuft of black hair, peering over the warmth and comfort of a coverlet were the only reply to Yunho’s words. Their comeback was in the works and Changmin had his hands full simultaneously shooting Paradise Ranch. He needed his sleep. Yunho smiled and had closed Changmin’s bedroom door, then their front door extra quietly.
The morning air is cold. Yunho knows he can keep walking but something tells him he has walked enough and he decides to sit down on one of the metal tracks. It brands a bar of coldness against the thighs of his jeans. Yunho exhales in surprise and watches his breath condense into a white mist, follows it up against the line of trees on both sides of the tracks and into the sun which he has to squint against. He stuffs his hands in his jacket because he has forgotten his gloves (the ones that Yoochun gave Yunho on his nineteenth birthday) and finds that his stomach has begun to grumble from hunger (Junsu used to order breakfast out on Sundays and Yunho’d wake up to the smell of pancakes).
He’s strangely calm now. More calm then usual, but not the dead calm that means you are suppressing all emotion (because there is still anger and hurt, betrayal). A good calm. There is a wide open sky above Yunho and train tracks that stretch either way, that seem that they will wind to the edge of forever, and what is Yunho compared to the world? What does it truly matter to the world that a clawing, despairing feeling begins to crawl itself up from the pits of Yunho’s stomach like a monster thought dead and resurrected?
“I want to hate you,” Yunho tells the sky and says it with the edges sharp and spiteful – a tone that’s never been captured by film because if nothing else, SM has trained him to say the right things at the right time. Trained a leader of a broken group.
Not. Not always a leader.
Dark eyes and dark hair, coy smiles, a hand that gripped him and pulled him up when dance practices even began to wear Yunho down. (It’s okay, you’re leader but he’s older. You can be a little weak with him not like everyone else.)
And a kiss.
Yunho closes his eyes. He wasn’t that drunk that he didn’t remember although he pretended he forgot. It changed him even though on the surface it changed nothing. After, Jaejoong didn’t know but knew at the same time.
I trust you. I care for you. With the frustrating push-and-pull of a relationship never quite begun (because I want to be normal and I’m afraid and I want children and what about what my parents will-)
“Did you do it in the end to hurt me?” Yunho asks the wash of red he can see under his eyelids against the sun, to the man he imagines in front of him. But there is no one there. No Changmin to be brave in front of, no SM, not even U-Know Yunho really. There’s only a tired man, who walked very far from the city, talking to empty air.
It’s easier to think worse of the ones that cause you hurt. It’s easier that way to justify the growing hotness in his eyes, the salty tears that begin to run down his cheeks. Yunho doesn’t acknowledge them, but even then, Yunho knows better.
These train tracks don’t lead to Gwangju. They lead to Gongju.
I'm offering fic for auction at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
help_japan . Please consider bidding. Proceeds go toward the tsunami/earthquake victims.
EDIT: "Abraxas," the sequel to "Home" is up here.
Author:
twhitesakura Word-count: 660
Concrit? Yes
Rating: PG
Summary: YunJae. Jaejoong's hometown is Gongju. Traveling the train tracks out of Seoul, Yunho finally acknowledges a painful truth.
Notes: Sequel and companion fic to Resistance.
Yunho has been walking on the damp gravel for three hours now, following the train tracks that run south, out of the city and into the countryside (closer to his hometown of Gwangju and to Jaejoong’s too). He did not expect to travel this far, had left Changmin still sleeping in their dorm in downtown Seoul during the pre-dawn.
“I’m going jogging,” Yunho had said hours ago.
A mumbled reply, like water heard underground, and a tuft of black hair, peering over the warmth and comfort of a coverlet were the only reply to Yunho’s words. Their comeback was in the works and Changmin had his hands full simultaneously shooting Paradise Ranch. He needed his sleep. Yunho smiled and had closed Changmin’s bedroom door, then their front door extra quietly.
The morning air is cold. Yunho knows he can keep walking but something tells him he has walked enough and he decides to sit down on one of the metal tracks. It brands a bar of coldness against the thighs of his jeans. Yunho exhales in surprise and watches his breath condense into a white mist, follows it up against the line of trees on both sides of the tracks and into the sun which he has to squint against. He stuffs his hands in his jacket because he has forgotten his gloves (the ones that Yoochun gave Yunho on his nineteenth birthday) and finds that his stomach has begun to grumble from hunger (Junsu used to order breakfast out on Sundays and Yunho’d wake up to the smell of pancakes).
He’s strangely calm now. More calm then usual, but not the dead calm that means you are suppressing all emotion (because there is still anger and hurt, betrayal). A good calm. There is a wide open sky above Yunho and train tracks that stretch either way, that seem that they will wind to the edge of forever, and what is Yunho compared to the world? What does it truly matter to the world that a clawing, despairing feeling begins to crawl itself up from the pits of Yunho’s stomach like a monster thought dead and resurrected?
“I want to hate you,” Yunho tells the sky and says it with the edges sharp and spiteful – a tone that’s never been captured by film because if nothing else, SM has trained him to say the right things at the right time. Trained a leader of a broken group.
Not. Not always a leader.
Dark eyes and dark hair, coy smiles, a hand that gripped him and pulled him up when dance practices even began to wear Yunho down. (It’s okay, you’re leader but he’s older. You can be a little weak with him not like everyone else.)
And a kiss.
Yunho closes his eyes. He wasn’t that drunk that he didn’t remember although he pretended he forgot. It changed him even though on the surface it changed nothing. After, Jaejoong didn’t know but knew at the same time.
I trust you. I care for you. With the frustrating push-and-pull of a relationship never quite begun (because I want to be normal and I’m afraid and I want children and what about what my parents will-)
“Did you do it in the end to hurt me?” Yunho asks the wash of red he can see under his eyelids against the sun, to the man he imagines in front of him. But there is no one there. No Changmin to be brave in front of, no SM, not even U-Know Yunho really. There’s only a tired man, who walked very far from the city, talking to empty air.
It’s easier to think worse of the ones that cause you hurt. It’s easier that way to justify the growing hotness in his eyes, the salty tears that begin to run down his cheeks. Yunho doesn’t acknowledge them, but even then, Yunho knows better.
These train tracks don’t lead to Gwangju. They lead to Gongju.
I'm offering fic for auction at
help_japan . Please consider bidding. Proceeds go toward the tsunami/earthquake victims. EDIT: "Abraxas," the sequel to "Home" is up here.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 04:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-18 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 04:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-18 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 04:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 12:19 am (UTC)I hope YunJae can be together again :)
Thx for sharing^^
no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 04:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 01:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 01:34 am (UTC)this is so bittersweet and with a right amount of angst in the love
thank youuu so much for sharing this ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 05:41 pm (UTC)Love love loooove ♥
So beautiful T.T
no subject
Date: 2011-03-19 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-21 01:56 am (UTC)Oh. So not fair.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-21 09:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-21 09:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-31 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-02 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-02 01:34 am (UTC)(Aiish, I wish I hadn't been so swamped this month and missed your help_japan offer. I would totally have bid a bunch!)
no subject
Date: 2011-04-02 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-17 06:56 am (UTC)T_T
no subject
Date: 2011-04-22 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-20 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-22 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-13 01:39 am (UTC)& my heart softened a bit when you mentioned the part on Yunho’s stomach growling, because Junsu used to order breakfast every Sunday.
I was reading this while listening to Kahi’s ‘Slow,’ the sixth track on her ‘Who Are You?’ mini album. It was just so...beautiful. :’)
He loves Jae.But he’s tired. I’m sure they all were.
But Changmin also had Paradise Ranch to get it off his mind here and there. Btw, did you write one that Changmin-centered?
Thanks for sharing. I’ve had this in my folder for 2 years.